Living with Adhesions
The Silent illness
I begin my story at age 30, because this is when life began for me. I had just come out of a marriage and moved back home to my parents, and lost an amazing 10 stone!
Moving back to my parents was hard, I had gone from running a 3 bedroom house, having a husband and 3 cats to look after, to being back in my old bedroom! I still I had my younger sister at home and she was a diamond.
At only 22 my sister introduced me to her circle of friends, and I went clubbing for the first time. You would think that losing the weight would give me a real confidence boost, but that did not happen immediately. I was – and looked like a completely different person. I looked in shop windows as I walked past and did not recognise the person looking back. It took me a while to get to know the new me! I could do things I couldn’t do before, like walking and exercise. As I was only working part-time I would walk for miles.
My family were brilliant and encouraged me to get a full time job, this was scary and completely out of my comfort zone! I started applying for jobs and slowly interviews were arranged.
Luckily after only a few scary interviews I got the job as a warehouse assistant. It was great. Over the next few years I worked hard lifting boxes and ran around processing and picking orders for mail order customers ready for dispatching. My confidence grew and things were looking up. Until one day BANG. I trapped my sciatic nerve, I was off work for 7 weeks.
I had to undergo physio I could no longer lift boxes or run around. Thankfully I was given an office job within the same company. I had to learn to find my way around a computer and remember my typing skills!
Alas, after taking such a confidence knock, I was uncomfortable working in the office, I felt out of place and out of touch with the other girls in the office.
In December 2003 we lost granddad. Sad times, it was the day before New Year’s Eve.
My sister had got us tickets to go to a club as I had never been out celebrating before on New Year’s Eve, we felt granddad would not want us to mope but to go and have a good night.
Fate indeed leant a hand that night, as I met my soul mate, my future hubby. As we got chatting it transpired that he was not meant to be in that particular club that night, and I mentioned that I nearly didn’t come because of our sad loss.
We chatted, we danced, we had a really good time and when it was time to go he shared our taxi home as he lived just round the corner from my parents. We started dating, we clicked, and we fell in love. Life was great, we went for long walks together, went mountain biking in the countryside and after only 3 months he asked me to move into his flat.
It was on one particular walk in 2004 when I reached up to kiss him I was struck by a sharp stabbing pain to the left of my groin. It didn’t last very long, but was very painful, I put it down to that time of the month as it coincided!
In July 2004 we moved into a new house together our first proper home. We spent time decorating and we had a huge overgrown garden to tackle it was full of bramble and rubbish.
I found I couldn’t do as much as I used to be able to. The stabbing pain was becoming more frequent.
By the end of summer the garden was looking much better, we could appreciate the hard work and we used to sit out under a blanket having a nice bottle of wine.
Life moved on, I left the office job, began searching for other work. Nothing seemed to last and I ended up having a few jobs over short periods.
The pain was sporadic, it struck when I least expected it, by now it was leaving me bent double and in agony for long periods.
After over a year together he proposed. We were thrown into wedding arrangements, it was so exciting. We decided to get married abroad and chose Kefalonia a wonderful Greek island. Our friends and family were overjoyed and we were lucky enough for them to come over for the wedding. In the end 27 friends and family watched us tie the knot in beautiful surroundings on May 25th 2006. The reception was wonderful the whole day exceptional, apart from this nagging niggley pain I still had.
The pain was really starting to bother me. Sometimes I could hardly walk, it totally knocked me off my feet, and it was both sides now? It was still quite sporadic and came and went.
In March 2007 I joined a brilliant firm of accountants as a receptionist/secretary. I really enjoyed chatting to the clients and I was always very busy which I loved. I learnt so much and my confidence grew.
May 2007 my husband and his mum, dad and I went to see Tony Bennett at the Symphony Hall in Birmingham. He was fantastic the acoustics in the hall were magnificent. Towards the end of the concert though was a blur. I felt like a red hot poker had speared my left side groin and came out the other end trapping me to my seat. I couldn’t move, this time the pain did not subside.
At work the next day I was in horrific pain, one of the firms directors took one look at my ashen face and told me to go home. I did, and straight to the doctors. At first the doctors thought it was an infection, I was prescribed painkillers and antibiotics. The pain never left me. I went to the doctors several times and each time was a new diagnosis. Painkillers did not touch the pain, I was crippled and desperate. My husband seeing my pain took me to hospital. I was admitted and underwent further testing and scans. One doctor thought it was endometriosis, scans showed cysts on both ovaries.
It was a turbulent time. I was discharged from hospital with different medication and told to go back if I had not improved. I did not.
Months went by, I worked when I could. I was admitted to hospital twice more before I was referred to a specialist.
In September I was again sent home from work in agonising pain, this time I did not return for 9 months!
December 2007 I was admitted to hospital to undergo an investigative operation which was done through the belly button to see what was going on inside. The results were not good. The surgeon discovered my insides were stuck together with Adhesions. The Adhesions are excess scar tissue that the body produces after surgery. The only operation I had ever had before were my appendix taken out when I was 11? I required major surgery to remove them. Having the operation would be no guarantee that the pain would subside or that my body would not produce more Adhesions as I would have scar tissue from this operation. I had no choice. I had to have the operation. I had to wait for an appointment.
In the meantime amid all this pain and chaos we had brought a beautiful Labrador puppy. We took him home in June 2007 and called him Max.
Not being able to work, I was at home with Max as a puppy and together my husband and I trained him and taught him tricks. We delighted in impressing friends and family at what this little bundle of joy could do for treats! Max kept us going throughout the pain and the upset.
Finally my operation date came through for April 2008. Christmas 2007 was a blur. By now it was difficult for me to sit cramped up I felt more comfortable lay down stretched out.
April came round and it was time to go into hospital. I was terrified, but would have done anything to be out of pain. I went in for surgery at 8.45am and by 1pm had come round on the ward. I was sore, tired and didn’t have any strength to talk. Later on the surgeon came to see me and explained what she had done. It was a complicated and difficult surgery, but they had managed to remove some adhesions and un-stick them from my organs. I was allowed home after two days. Recovery was hard, but I was determined to get well.
I continued taking painkillers and eventually started to have good days. I managed a little walk here and there and was able to play with Max and do some housework.
After having check-ups with the hospital and doctors I eventually returned to work. It was June 2008, everyone was pleased to see me back. My employers had been so understanding, I was eternally grateful to return to my job.
By May 2009 I seemed to be having more pain free days, the surgeon discharged me. She explained that if the Adhesions ever did come back, she would not operate on me again as it had been a very complicated surgery and further surgery would only create more Adhesions.
We started to go out more, plan more, life was good again.
December 2009 I noticed that niggle had begun again, like before a dull nagging ache in the same place. Ignoring it I plodded on, took pain killers.
March 2010 Max started acting very strange! He was not allowed upstairs, as a puppy we trained him not to. I woke one night to find two big brown eyes staring at me, startled I sat up in bed. Max had climbed 2 sets of stairs (as we were in the loft conversion) and was sat by my side, odd! I took him downstairs, told him he was a naughty boy for coming upstairs and that he should know better! Max did this for 4 consecutive nights? In the day he would follow me around and when I sat on the settee he would come and put his head in my lap and look at me forlorn? What on earth had gotten into him?
On the fifth night I awoke in agonising pain. It was exactly the same pain as before, fierce hot and stabbing. I instinctively knew the Adhesions were back. After two days my husband took me to the hospital, I was given morphine for the pain and told to go to my GP. I did, I was given pain killers and told to rest.
It was as if Max has sensed I was going to be ill again! I wrote to a magazine with my story of Max and his behaviour and they printed it in their issue of ‘physic pets’ it was a lovely read and great pictures of Max and I. Friends and family just lifted their eyebrows at me and laughed, but I have always been interested in anything supernatural.
I tried to get on with things. Went to work, took Max for walks, until one day at work I collapsed. I was taken to hospital in an ambulance and once again given morphine!
The gynaecologist at the hospital explained there was nothing more they could really do, knowing my history the doctor explained it might be worth a visit to my old surgeon to see if she may have changed her mind on operating on me again? I was discharged from hospital again with pain killers. I went again to my GP explaining everything. This time I was referred to a pain specialist at a different hospital.
I was off work again, unable to walk. In the grip of that crippling pain! Eventually I went to see a consultant. I was shocked at his explanation. He asked me if I had ever lost a lot of weight quickly or gained weight quickly. I told him back in 2002 I lost 10 stone in 12 months. This he said may be a contributing factor to your pain. He explained that the nerves in my abdomen had got accustomed to my heavy weight, so when I lost weight and the fat deposits shrunk, there was nowhere for the nerves to sit. The nerve receptors where sending pain waves. The solution was creams and different medication and if that did not work an injection in both nerves to block the pain. I was allergic to the cream and the pain killers did not work. In desperation I went back to see him with an emergency appointment. He agreed to do the injections and put me on morphine until the time came for me to go into hospital to have the procedure done.
Taking morphine was awful I just wasn’t myself on them at all. I was horrendous to live with and completely changed.
Finally I went to have the procedure done in September 2010. The pain after the injections was just like I had had the surgery again. I rang the consultant who explained this was normal and could take 4-6 weeks to settle. Meanwhile keep taking the morphine.
Slowly I noticed an improvement. I had already returned to work and colleagues commented that I started to look better. I felt it. I decided to come off the morphine completely. I had started to reduce the dosage and wean myself of it and felt I was ready to completely stop.
I woke one Saturday morning and for the first time in a long time did not take any medication. After a couple of hours I noticed I had started to ache. Another hour and I had started to shake and sweat! I rang my husband at work and told him how I felt. He looked up morphine withdrawal on the internet. I was having drug withdrawal like a drug addict would have. I was mortified and had to take a small dose of morphine to help get me through the day. I had obviously come off it too soon.
A week later I tried again. With my husband at home to help he saw me through two days of withdrawal. It was not nice. But by the time Monday came round I felt better.
Finally after 5 weeks I was off the pain killers and walking Max again and running around at work.
However, the last week in October the familiar pain in my left side was there. I am now taking a lower dose pain killer, but a pain killer nevertheless.
I will always have Adhesions, it will be managed by pain relief and maybe another go at injections.
I have good days and bad days. Bad days I still can’t walk very far and have to lay flat and stretch.
I hope there will be more good days than bad.
